| Godel, Ulysses and McCarthy |
[May. 4th, 2008|08:47 pm] |
The Pulitzer prize winning book. What do the three have in common? Nobody get's it.
In life there are no certainties. Even when it is man v/s a steer. Certainly you are joking, Ed Tom Bell!
Godel's number: Convert a sequence of natural numbers to a new natural number, such that you can decode the sequence from the new number.
One really nice answer given by a friend was: use unary encoding for the numbers and 0 as the delimiter:
Eg:- for 2,5,6: 110111110111111
( or use binary encoding for the numbers and 2 as a delimiter ....). Yet another way is to use primes ( as you can take advantage of unique factorization ). |
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| Anime soundtracks |
[Apr. 29th, 2008|11:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
The section that starts at about 2 minutes into the soundtrack is my favorite one.
Another one from the same series:
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| Molli |
[Mar. 28th, 2008|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
Starts of as a standard plot. Boy meets girl. Falls in love. Girl has to be wooed. Girl can neither speak nor hear. The guy is a musician.
He wants to somehow communicate his music to her, as it's an intrinsic part of him. She can't hear music, but can she feel it? He finally plays his best composition. She feels it, and music courses through her. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears. The house needed dusting. It wasn't a world changing event, but the world did change for her. A rueful smile, what did it indicate? Emotions long kept in check, are revealed. She falls! Another twist in the tale or is it the ankle? They live happily ever after.
Other details: A tamil movie; a movie with less than the usual chatter; the language of facial expressions is rich. |
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| Catch-22 |
[Mar. 2nd, 2008|12:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
[ This started off in my mind as a review with rating of five stars. But read and decide for yourself, if you haven't already. ]
"Actually, no one but Lieutenant Scheisskopf really gave a damn about the parades, least of all the bloated colonel with the big fat mustache, who was chairman of the Action Board and began bellowing at Clevinger the moment Clevinger stepped gingerly into the room to plead innocent to the charges Lieutenant Scheisskopf had lodged against him. The colonel beat his fist down upon the table and hurt his hand and became so further enraged with Clevinger that he beat his fist down upon the table even harder and hurt his hand some more. Lieutenant Scheisskopf glared at Clevinger with tight lips, mortified by the poor impression Clevinger was making.
"In sixty days you'll be fighting Billy Petrolle," the colonel with the big fat mustache roared. "And you think it's a big fat joke."
"I don't think it's a joke, sir," Clevinger replied.
" Don't interrupt."
" Yes, sir."
" And say 'sir' when you do," ordered Major Metcalf.
" Yes, sir."
" Weren't you just ordered not to interrupt?" Major Metcalf inquired coldly.
" But I didn't interrupt, sir," Clevinger protested.
" No. And you didn't say 'sir', either. Add that to the charges against him," Major Metcalf directed the corporal who could take shorthand. "Failure to say 'sir' to superior officers when not interrupting them."
" Metcalf," said the colonel, "you're a goddamn fool. Do you know that?"
Major Metcalf swallowed with difficulty. "Yes, sir."
" Then keep your goddamn mouth shut. You don't make sense."
There were three members of the Action Board, the bloated colonel with the big fat mustache, Lieutenant Scheisskopf and Major Metcalf, who was trying to develop a steely gaze. As a member of the Action Board, Lieutenant Scheisskopf was one of the judges who would weigh the merits of the case against Clevinger as presented by the prosecutor. Lieutenant Scheisskopf was also the prosecutor. Clevinger had an officer defending him. The officer defending him was Lieutenant Scheisskopf.
It was all very confusing to Clevinger, who began vibrating in terror as the colonel surged to his feet like a gigantic belch and threatened to rip his stinking, cowardly body apart limb from limb. One day he had stumbled while marching to class ; the next day he was formally charged with "breaking ranks while in formation, felonious assault, indiscriminate behavior, mopery, high treason, provoking, being a smart guy, listening to classical music and so on." In short, they threw the book at him, and there he was, standing in dread before the bloated colonel, who roared once more that in sixty days he would be fighting Billy Petrolle and demanded to know how the hell he would like being washed out and shipped to the Solomon Islands to bury bodies. Clevinger replied with courtesy that he would not like it ; he was a dope who would rather be a corpse than bury one. The colonel sat down and settled back, calm and cagey suddenly, and ingratiatingly polite.
"What did you mean," he inquired slowly, "when you said we couldn't punish you?"
" When, sir?"
" I'm asking the questions. You're answering them."
" Yes, sir. I - "
" Did you think we brought you here to ask questions and for me to answer them?"
" No, sir. I - "
" What did we bring you here for?"
" To answer questions."
" You're goddam right," roared the colonel. "Now suppose you start answering some before I break your goddam head. Just what the hell did you mean, you bastard, when you said we couldn't punish you?"
" I don't think I ever made that statement, sir."
" Will you speak up, please? I couldn't hear you."
" Yes, sir. I - "
" Will you speak up, please? He couldn't hear you."
" Yes, sir. I - "
" Metcalf."
" Sir?"
" Didn't I tell you to keep your stupid mouth shut?"
" Yes, sir."
" Then keep your stupid mouth shut when I tell you to keep your stupid mouth shut. Do you understand? Will you speak up, please? I couldn't hear you."
" Yes, sir. I - "
" Metcalf, is that your foot I'm stepping on?"
" No, sir. It must be Lieutenant Scheisskopf's foot."
" It isn't my foot," said Lieutenant Scheisskopf.
" Then maybe it is my foot after all," said Major Metcalf.
" Move it."
" Yes, sir. You'll have to move your foot first, colonel. It's on top of mine."
" Are you telling me to move my foot?"
" No, sir. Oh, no, sir."
" Then move your foot and keep your stupid mouth shut. Will you speak up, please? I still couldn't hear you."
" Yes, sir. I said that I didn't say that you couldn't punish me."
" Just what the hell are you talking about?"
" I'm answering your question, sir."
" What question?"
" ' Just what the hell did you mean, you bastard, when you said we couldn't punish you?' " said the corporal who could take shorthand, reading from his steno pad.
" All right," said the colonel. "Just what the hell did you mean?"
" I didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir."
" When?" asked the colonel.
" When what, sir?"
" Now you're asking me questions again."
" I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid I don't understand your question."
" When didn't you say we couldn't punish you? Don't you understand my question?"
" No, sir. I don't understand."
" You've just told us that. Now suppose you answer my question."
" But how can I answer it?"
" That's another question you're asking me."
" I'm sorry, sir. But I don't know how to answer it. I never said you couldn't punish me."
" Now you're telling us when you did say it. I'm asking you to tell us when you didn't say it."
Clevinger took a deep breath. "I always didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir."
" That's much better, Mr. Clevinger, even though it is a barefaced lie. Last night in the latrine. Didn't you whisper that we couldn't punish you to that other dirty son of a bitch we don't like? What's his name?"
" Yossarian, sir," Lieutenant Scheisskopf said.
" Yes, Yossarian. That's right. Yossarian. Yossarian? Is that his name? Yossarian? What the hell kind of a name is Yossarian?"
Lieutenant Scheisskopf had the facts at his finger tips. "It's Yossarian's name, sir," he explained.
" Yes, I suppose it is. Didn't you whisper to Yossarian that we couldn't punish you?"
" Oh, no, sir. I whispered to him that you couldn't find me guilty - "
" I may be stupid," interrupted the colonel, "but the distinction escapes me. I guess I am pretty stupid, because the distinction escapes me."
" W - "
" You're a windy son of a bitch, aren't you? Nobody asked you for clarification and you're giving me clarification. I was making a statement, not asking for clarification. You are a windy son of a bitch, aren't you?"
"No, sir."
" No, sir? Are you calling me a goddam liar?"
" Oh, no, sir."
" Then you're a windy son of a bitch, aren't you?"
" No, sir."
" Are you trying to pick a fight with me?"
" No, sir."
" Are you a windy son of a bitch?"
" No, sir."
" Goddammit, you are trying to pick a fight with me. For two stinking cents I'd jump over this big fat table and rip your stinking, cowardly body apart limb from limb."
" Do it! Do it!" cried Major Metcalf.
" Metcalf, you stinking son of a bitch. Didn't I tell you to keep your stinking, cowardly, stupid mouth shut?"
" Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir."
" Then suppose you do it."
" I was only trying to learn, sir. The only way a person can learn is by trying."
" Who says so?"
" Everybody says so, sir. Even Lieutenant Scheisskopf says so."
" Do you say so?"
" Yes, sir," said Lieutenant Scheisskopf. "But everybody says so."
"Well, Metcalf, suppose you try keeping that stupid mouth of yours shut, and maybe that's the way you'll learn how. Now, where were we? Read me back the last line."
" 'Read me back the last line,' " read back the corporal who could take shorthand.
" Not my last line, stupid!" the colonel shouted. "Somebody else's."
" 'Read me back the last line,' " read back the corporal.
" That's my last line again!" shrieked the colonel, turning purple with anger.
" Oh, no, sir," corrected the corporal. "That's my last line. I read it to you just a moment ago. Don't you remember, sir? It was only a moment ago."
" Oh, my God! Read me back his last line, stupid. Say, what the hell's your name anyway?"
" Popinjay, sir."
" Well, you're next, Popinjay. As soon as his trial ends, your trial begins. Get it?"
" Yes, sir. What will I be charged with?"
" What the hell difference does that make? Did you hear what he asked me? You're going to learn, Popinjay - the minute we finish with Clevinger you're going to learn. Cadet Clevinger, what did - You are Cadet Clevinger, aren't you, and not Popinjay?"
" Yes, sir."
" Good. What did - "
" I'm Popinjay, sir."
" Popinjay, is your father a millionaire, or a member of the Senate?"
" No, sir."
" Then you're up shit creek, Popinjay, without a paddle. He's not a general or a high-ranking member of the Administration, is he?"
" No, sir."
" That's good. What does your father do?"
" He's dead, sir."
"That's very good. You really are up the creek, Popinjay. Is Popinjay really your name? Just what the hell kind of a name is Popinjay, anyway? I don't like it."
"It's Popinjay's name, sir," Lieutenant Scheisskopf explained.
"Well, I don't like it, Popinjay, and I just can't wait to rip your stinking, cowardly body apart limb from limb. Cadet Clevinger, will you please repeat what the hell it was you did or didn't whisper to Yossarian late last night in the latrine?"
"Yes, sir. I said that you couldn't find me guilty - "
"We'll take it from there. Precisely what did you mean, Cadet Clevinger, when you said we couldn't find you guilty?"
"I didn't say you couldn't find me guilty, sir."
"When?"
"When what, sir?"
"Goddammit, are you going to start pumping me again?"
"No, sir. I'm sorry, sir."
"Then answer the question. When didn't you say we couldn't find you guilty?"
"Late last night in the latrine, sir."
"Is that the only time you didn't say it?"
"No, sir. I always didn't say you couldn't find me guilty, sir. What I did say to Yossarian was - "
"Nobody asked you what you did say to Yossarian. We asked you what you didn't say to him. We're not at all interested in what you did say to Yossarian. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sir."
"Then we'll go on. What did you say to Yossarian?"
"I said to him, sir, that you couldn't find me guilty of the offense with which I am charged and still be faithful to the cause of ..."
"Of what? You're mumbling."
"Stop mumbling."
"Yes, sir."
"And mumble 'sir' when you do."
"Metcalf, you bastard!"
"Yes, sir," mumbled Clevinger. "Of justice, sir. That you couldn't find - "
"Justice?" The colonel was astounded. "What is justice?"
"Justice, sir - "
"That's not what justice is," the colonel jeered, and began pounding the table again with his big fat hand. "That's what Karl Marx is. I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning. Garroting. That's what justice is when we've all got to be tough enough and rough enough to fight Billy Petrolle. From the hip. Get it?"
"No, sir."
"Don't sir me!"
"Yes, sir."
"And say 'sir' when you don't," ordered Major Metcalf.
Clevinger was guilty, of course, or he would not have been accused, and since the only way to prove it was to find him guilty, it was their patriotic duty to do so. He was sentenced to talk fifty-seven punishment tours. Popinjay was locked up to be taught a lesson, and Major Metcalf was shipped to the Solomon Islands to bury bodies. A punishment tour for Clevinger was fifty minutes of a weekend hour spent pacing back and forth before the provost marshal's building with a ton of an unloaded rifle on his shoulder." |
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| The longitude problem |
[Feb. 18th, 2008|08:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
You are a sailor. Your objective is to sail from position X to position Y. You know the source and destination latitude and longitudes. How do you find your current longitude as you are sailing?
One solution:
Radio someone staying at the source, and ask them their current time at noon your time ( you get that when the sun is directly overhead ). Since you know 24 hours corresponds to 360 degrees, the difference in time, can be used to calculate longitude.
You can also use a GPS :), or google Earth.
But what if you were a 17th century sailor?
A compass wasn't accurate enough. ( It would also vary with region )
Use a clock set to the source time, and daily reset another clock to the current time ( again use noon ).
On a cloudy day, pray, what will you do, or is it what else :)? |
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| Foosball |
[Feb. 1st, 2008|09:57 pm] |
It all started with the buying of the xbox in our office. Earlier, people at work, used to play either foosball or pool. With the buy, people stopped playing pool, which was what I used to enjoy playing. So now it is foosball time. Wow, it is lot of fun, and quite a bit of strategy.
1) The long pot: which is when you try to score from the 1st or the 2nd set of sticks. This requires you to lift the 3rd stick or you are invariably going to rebound of it.
2) Horizontal move: Most effective from the 4th stick. There is a region in front of the goal, where the only way the opponent can protect the goal is by switching the set of sticks 2. So once you have the horizontal move down, scoring becomes much easier.
3) Passing: Once the serve is done, pass from stick3 to stick4 and then score.
4) Serve: This is supposed to be fair, but atleast the games I have played, the person who serves seems to get the control of the foosball initially :). But the caveat is that you get to serve, only when you lose the previous round, which implies that it is an advantage that the weaker player gets :). So hopefully it all evens out.
This is just scratching the surface in terms of the offensive strategies. With all this theory, I am still currently in tier3 of the hierarchy in terms of skill level :). |
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| Uppigintha ruchi bere illa |
[Jan. 30th, 2008|08:47 am] |
Eight years after the movie release, finally got around to watching the movie. There are a good number of surprises in the movie, starting with the Vikram-Betal episode, with Arun Govil himself playing the part. There is overacting and excessive violence, but don't know if it is part of the theme he is trying to convey.
The next movies in line are H20 and A.
I will end with a song from the movie:
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| Birthday paradox 2 |
[Jan. 5th, 2008|09:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
You know the friends list that you have in a social n/w. How large should the list be, so that you expect a friend's birthday every day of the year?
The minimum possible number is 365, since all of them can have birthdays on different days. But this isn't the expected number. ( Neglecting leap years )
Assmumption: That the birthday of your friend can equally likely fall on any one of the 365 days. ( 9 months after valentines' is only for the undergrads studying here! ).
Solution:
* Geometric distribution. Expectation = 1/p
* Therefore
1 + 365/364 + 365/363 +.... 365/2 + 365/1
approx 365*ln(365) |
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| Banana leaf |
[Dec. 19th, 2007|08:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | full | ] |
It had been a while, since the last great lunch. BaLe yele oota, with the assortment of food has always been my favorite.
Starters:
Paisa
Kosambri
Chitranna
Main Course:
Pineapple gojju ( the taste is out of this world. It's a tangy preparation, and comes highly recommended).
Tave
Rasam + AmboDe ( You will understand/coin the phrase nose-watering after eating this.)
Sambar/Majige Huli
All of this with rice and vegetables.
Sweets:
Holige ( generally prefer the beLe ones ).
Jilebi/Jahangir ( okay, I don't know the difference :) ).
Boondi.
Enders (What is the technical term?):
* Majige
After that: based on capacity and how determined the person serving the food is, repeat of the entire meal.
Note:
1) Sometimes sweets are the main course, and everything else are appetizers :).
2) You must eat the paisa atleast twice. |
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| Jumble |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|02:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
Times of India:
dvaee: +-+-+
cyiil: +-++-
eehrtt: +-+---
aelmng: +--+--
( + => that character is legitimately used in the quote below ).
Quote: Your hopes,dreams and aspirations are ___ (10 letter word). They are trying to take you airborne, above the clouds...
Deccan Herald:
cykat: +--+-
lurra: +--+-
elgant: -++-+-
drofek: +--+--
Quote: What the hot dog vendor gave his new helper.
A ____ ____ (5,4)
Frankly I found the TOI one tougher. |
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| Vengeance is mine |
[Nov. 4th, 2007|09:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
said the little atom.
To smash the little atom,
All mankind has intent.
Now every day,
The atom looks to
return the compliment.
( Filched this from a photograph of a painting kept in a museum. Now my conscience is clean :) ) |
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| Debugging |
[Oct. 26th, 2007|09:16 pm] |
Whatson: Very interesting problem we have here Sherlock.
We have the same .so file, and in one machine when we load it, it works, and in the other it throws an exception.
Sherlock: What is the error message you are getting?
Whatson: symbol not found when I do dlopen.
Sherlock: What does nm indicate?
Whatson: Obviously that the symbol is not found :).
Sherlock: So there are 2 problems. One that the symbol is not defined in the .so, and the other that though it is not defined, one of the machines doesn't error out.
Then check if the binary that loads the .so are the same.
Whatson: Hmm.. The binaries are different, and being a proactive intellectual guy, I also saw that if I replaced the machine it was erroring out, with the other binary it doesn't throw an exception.
Sherlock: Well then RTLD_LAZY was the culprit!, and next time nm -u can save a lot of trouble.
Whatson: Yaako magane! |
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| Everybody loves Maxine |
[Oct. 25th, 2007|12:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | high | ] |
To be John Malkovich, to dance the dance of despair and disillusionment. Where is Mary? Comedy makes way for the surreal. You are the puppet master.
Chindi movie :). |
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| One who flew over the cuckoo's nest |
[Oct. 16th, 2007|12:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
Starring Louise Fletcher (the nurse) and Jack Nicholson (McMurphy). I haven't seen any movie where I dislike a character as much as I did the nurse. Great acting!
Her threats are nothing overt, but her emotionless tone and dead stare (both of which she uses to great effect) brings out a feeling of helplessness amongst the inmates. In the end you are just hoping that the others will join McMurphy by showing a bit of spunk, and put an end to her tyranny, or that McMurphy will just escape and be free. |
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| Everyone's an analyst |
[Oct. 10th, 2007|10:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
when is the sensex going to fall?
Per Intelligent Investor ( recommended by zeeds ), investment in stocks is proportional to the risk you can withstand. Use SIP (systematic investment plan), to average out vagaries of the market. When stocks are overheated, it is time to sell. ( How do you detect an overheated market, you ask. i.e in the next chapter of the book :) ).
Anyway I have invested in stocks, and I am holding on :), but I am not stock picking. |
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| Books are out :) |
[Oct. 8th, 2007|09:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | satisfied | ] |
Yep. I am no longer rereading my fav books.
The replacement: movies :).
Omkaara: Ajay Devgan's acting as usual is hard hitting. Saif Ali Khan as Langda bhai is also very good. ( reminds me of Harsha :) ).The end gets to be a bit bloody though. Nice songs, and a few acquired favs here :).
Bluffmaster: Nana Patekar acting + songs.
Yuva: Good theme.
Gangster: Ya Ali... what a song. One can drown in the words as one listens to the haunting music/lyrics.
Jaaneman: Worth watching the movie just to hear Akshay Kumar's laughter, and/or Preity Zinta's smile :). There are also 7 copies of your love out there :).
Lakshya: Superb acting. Lot of moments which touch the heart. Preity Zinta looks good, but she breaks up at the drop of a hat.
For a few dollars more: The hat scene, and the musical score is terrific. I used to enjoy this more than "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" for its faster pace.
Gentleman: My 1st tamil movie. Amazing songs, and Madhoo (the roja actress) looks terrific. Thought that I wouldn't be able to follow the nuances of the movie, but am impressed as I could get most of the intended humor, and it was funny.
Also the wheelie of the truck, jeep deserves applause.
Bangarada Manushya: Awesome dialogues...
KaDele idda varige hallu illa... Hallu idda varige kaDele illa. Antha naana alla, namma hirayaru heLidaare.
Bourne Ultimatum: Watched it at the theatres. Amateur photography at its worst. The scenes are so choppy, arrgh... Must stay calm...
The 1st movie that I followed with just the audio.
Pulp Fiction: Samuel Jackson rules all. The ending or what ever you call the last scene in the movie, is just unbelievable. |
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| Mmmm... cars |
[Oct. 6th, 2007|03:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
What a day! Just finished driving a R32. 250 horsepower, super cool looks. Twiddle your thumbs and you are done gear shifting. Or for those who prefer the stick shift, smooth gear changing.
The only concern is that the gear changing switch is very close to the high beam indicator. I inadvertently clicked on the flasher at a passing police afsar, twice! Lucky to make it through the day without a ticket.
Took it for a drive through the city and then onto the freeway. 0 - 60 in 6 seconds. But I was much slower as the car was still new.
Yum. |
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| Thud |
[Jun. 28th, 2007|10:11 pm] |
Drunk captain meets dragon-rearing lady, with an Orangutan as a librarian. Enter the world of disc.
Humour has a name, and fiction fantasy reading becomes even better :).
A quote from the book dat' stuck u know, 'he couldn't do better than her, and she couldn't worse than him'.
In other news, talking to a CEO, who can discuss "Ender's Game" is super fun. |
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| Grudge match: Gandalf the Grey v/s Dumbledore |
[Apr. 14th, 2007|11:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | rejuvenated | ] |
(http://www.grudge-match.com/History/gandalf-dumbledore.shtml)
The Commentary
STEVE: Although both of these wizards are legendary in their own worlds, Dumbledore will clearly be the victor in this battle. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, he is the most famed & powerful wizard in a whole land of wizards. When you're pretty much the only fish in the pond, like Gandalf, anything might seem impressive to the regular Joes. (Case in point: The aforementioned "Tim".) But in a world of wizards, being proclaimed the head honcho is truly saying something. He's the big fish, the alpha male. Everyone watches out for Dumbledore.
Second, judging by his actions, Dumbledore is obviously into some pretty big stuff, which we can really only guess at. Let it suffice to say that when the evilest, nastiest, most powerful wizard (who shall not be named) his world has ever seen is sneaking around Hogwarts, Dumbledore seems busy elsewhere with "important" matters. If he-who-shall-not-be-named is not even worthy of any of Dumbledore's attention, then obviously Dumbledore's power is immense indeed.
Now while Dumbledore is busy with his truly important matters, where is Gandalf? He's busy with his "important" tasks, such as lighting off fireworks for hobbits, or blowing animated smoke rings with his pipe. Sure, he can manage to get his withered old self out of his easy chair once in a while, but even then he's pretty useless. For example, he pays his old master Saruman a visit, and shows his inadequacy twice: First, he doesn't even recognize Saruman's obvious evil transformation. Second, he proceeds to get thoroughly whipped. These feats don't exactly inspire confidence in him.
Really, I can't help but think that perhaps Gandalf would be more of an opponent if he attended Hogwarts himself.
SHANE: Sorry, but Gandalf declines your offer, as he's the one who will be schooling Dumbledore.
First, do you really believe that the most powerful wizard in the world would be rewarded by being made a school headmaster? Does that title really scream "alpha male"? To me, it screams "superannuated duffer of marginal competence getting kicked upstairs." Yes, all the other wizards like him, so they give him a cushy job without much real power. It's obvious that Mrs. McGonagall wields all the disciplinary power at Hogwarts. As for never noticing the encroachments of Lord You-Know-Who, that's not a sign of disdainful strength, it's a sign of cluelessness. If he's such a great wizard, why can't he tell he's about to eat an earwax-flavored jelly bean - and then why doesn't he spit it out? Cluelessness.
Compare that to Gandalf, who moves in a world of ancient and terrible powers, and is equal to them all. Sure, Saruman beat him at first, but villains always prosper at first. Gandalf ends up laying him low in humiliating fashion, which I won't give away for people who haven't read the book or seen the second movie. (Hint: Al Gore would be proud.) Then there's the Balrog: a hundred-foot fiery demon with horns bigger than your car, and Gandalf dispatches it like it was Wile E. Coyote. Sure, it drags Gandalf into a bottomless pit in its death throes, but he just comes back stronger, more powerful, even younger-looking! (Oops, sorry. Spoiler above.) When you can turn horrible doom into your own personal trainer, that is power.
Dumbledore will be lucky not to get cast into an active volcano once this brief fight is over.
STEVE: Oooh, I'm so scared of Balrog. The best this so-called demon can muster is a whip, and he hangs out with smelly goblins in a cave. Honestly, I'm not really impressed. Sure he's big and all, but we all know how that particular quality leads to one's downfall (Goliath, etc.) It was inevitable he had to lose. Good ol' Tim the Enchanter could have handled him. Really, Harry Potter himself has handled tougher things than Balrog, and he's just a kid. A kid at wizard school where Dumbledore is boss. You do the math.
Really, Gandalf only succeeds because he gets tremendously lucky once in a while. Not due to any skill as far as I can tell. Saved by eagles from atop a burning tree at the last minute (The Hobbit). Nearly done in by three lowly trolls. Lucky, yes. Great wizard? No. Besides that, he wears white after Labor Day. Tsk tsk.
It's clear that Dumbledore would make quick work of Gandalf. For that matter, I'd pick just about any wizard over Gandalf. Tim, Merlin, Allanon, The Wicked Witch of the West, hell, even that geeky boy wizard wanna-be from the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. And that ain't saying much.
SHANE: Bringing up the best-forgotten D&D cartoon won't win you this geek-off, Steve, not when you make such fundamental errors elsewhere. First, they're smelly orcs, not smelly goblins. Second, Gandalf wore grey: hence the title Gandalf the Grey. (Duh.) Third, Middle-Earth is pre-industrial, hence not unionized, meaning it doesn't have a Labor Day.
Also, it's not luck when Gandalf gets saved by eagles. It happened again in LOTR, and in the movie we see that he communicates with a butterfly to summon the eagle. That implies a profound communion with the animal kingdom, meaning he's got a lot of weapons to use against Dumbledore. Imagine swarms of ants up the robe, dive-bombing swallows, files of ravening chipmunks, and finally a couple billion gnats to carry Dumbledore away in a ludicrous scene perfectly suited to the onlooking Monty Python troupe.
All this is assuming that Gandalf doesn't distract Dumbledore completely from the contest by giving him his heart's fondest wish, as he admitted to young Harry. That's right: a new pair of socks. As Dumbledore dodders away in blissfully undemanding satisfaction, Gandalf can get to work leading this new quest. "One grail to rule them all", or something like that. |
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| Writer's block |
[Mar. 3rd, 2007|03:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
He was old, and though his heart was weak, his writing style (he thought) was intact.
It was a friday again, time to come up with a short story for the sunday column. He realized that it had been many months since his last great short story. There had been a few which were good, almost comparable to Somerset Maugham, or one of O' Henry's works. But to lesser mortals those low standards; to him a great short story was something like 'The Tell-Tale Heart' by Edgar Allan Poe.
Saturday (the morning): His heart beat more rapidly. Was it the fear that he would fail yet again? No, that didn't seem to be wholly it, as he had the seed; the idea for his great short story. But he had so little time.
Saturday 11 p.m: His hand shook with the thrill of fear, as he began penning his thoughts down. The story was of a once successful writer who wanted one last great story; who would rather die than write another failed story. His heart beat even more rapidly, as he continued to think on how the story ended, while time ticked on without remorse. |
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